if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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