I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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