how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
