Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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