Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
It's not a walk of shame if you run
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
