Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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