if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize