Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize
