And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Hippo gnu deer
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
