we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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