is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
