I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
