Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
