Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
