Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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