I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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