Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
