We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
