I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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