so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
