she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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