i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize