Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
