No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
