I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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