This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
