its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.