Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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