i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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