Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize