went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
