i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
