it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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