my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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