So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
