I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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