i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I can't turn off my feet"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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