I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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