i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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