my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
