he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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