I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
