I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
