watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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