My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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