I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
