ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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