Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
