Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
