ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
