why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
