She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
