i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
