I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
