That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize