No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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