In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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