I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
