Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
